Episode 067 - Taken For Borrowed

The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori 

There’s a quiet danger in the most stable parts of our lives.

Not danger in the obvious sense—but danger in the way stability slips beneath our awareness. The way the most essential things become invisible precisely because they work so well.

This episode begins with a simple gratitude practice. Each morning, Dr. Tori writes down five things he’s grateful for—sometimes just a word, sometimes a phrase. No journaling. No editing. Just noticing.

And then comes a story that changes how you hear the rest of the episode.

The Sound You Didn’t Know You Were Missing

A family member describes the first time she put on hearing aids.

She didn’t realize her hearing had been fading. Life felt normal. Work was normal. Conversations were normal.

And then—birds.

Birds chirping.

Sounds that had been gone for so long she didn’t even know they were missing. She cried—not from sadness, but from sudden restoration. From realizing something beautiful had been quietly slipping away.

What We Mean When We Take Something for Granted

To take something for granted is to treat it as:

• Given

• Stable

• Not requiring maintenance

• Unlikely to be taken away

When those assumptions settle in, attention fades. Appreciation fades. Presence fades.

And the tragedy is this:

The things most likely to be taken for granted are often the things that often matter most or hold the most meaning.

The Invisible Systems Holding Your Life Together

The episode walks through a series of experiences you likely haven’t thought about today—but rely on constantly:

• Background sounds: birds, wind, distant laughter, the hum of your home at night

• Peripheral vision: the ability to sense the world without staring directly at it

• Micro-textures: the subtle vibration of pen on paper, the click of a button confirming action

• Balance: standing, walking, orienting without conscious effort

• Uninterrupted physiology: a heart that’s been beating since before you were born; breath that never needed instruction

• Face and voice recognition: instantly knowing who you love without relearning them each time

• Depth perception: pouring coffee, driving, navigating space without thought

• Context sensing: walking into a room and immediately “getting the feel” of it

None of these announce themselves.

They work quietly. Reliably. Predictably.

And because of that—they disappear from awareness.

Why the Brain Sometimes Hides What Matters Most

We are hardwired to:

1. Notice change

2. Track threat

3. Seek cognitive efficiency

When something is stable, non-threatening, and easy, the brain does exactly what it’s designed to do—it drops it below conscious awareness.

Which raises an uncomfortable question:

If we’re not aware of something, can we truly be in awe of it?

Can we give it reverence?

Can we care for it properly?

What If the Most Important Things Were Fragile?

The most predictable, reliable, non-threatening people in your life are often the ones most at risk of being taken for granted.

Here's an unsettling question:

What if instead of treating these relationships as given, we treated them as fragile?

Imagine the most important person in your life.

Now imagine they’re gone.

Or changed forever by illness.

Or distance.

Or time.

Their presence was never guaranteed.

Seeing something as fragile changes how you hold it.

You maintain it.

You attend to it.

You don’t assume it will always be there.

Why Gratitude Isn’t Enough

Gratitude matters—but the episode makes a clear distinction:

• Gratitude can be silent and internal.

• Expressed gratitude adds words.

• Active appreciation adds behavior.

Active appreciation means:

• Maintaining

• Improving

• Paying attention

• Being present

• Acting in ways that protect what matters

You can feel grateful for someone and still neglect them.

You can appreciate something silently and still let it erode.

From “Taken for Granted” to “Taken for Borrowed”

What if instead of taking things for granted, we took them for borrowed?

Borrowed things are handled differently.

They’re cared for.

They’re respected.

They’re returned in better condition than we received them.

So consider this...

Who in your life might you be taking for granted - and how would your behavior change if you treated them as borrowed instead?

Key Takeaway 

Don’t wait until something disappears to realize its value.  Treat what matters as fragile. Treat it as borrowed. And act accordingly. 

🎧 If this episode resonated, share it with someone who might need the reminder. 

Influence is something we practice every day—especially in the quiet moments we usually overlook.