018 - Patience Isn't Passive
influence-018-patience-isnt-passive-01-audio
This is Dr. Tori. Welcome to the Influence Every Day show where we make every day better and we influence for good.
I happen to geek out on learning from other cultures and other languages. Sometimes even just finding out the word origin of a word in English can actually change how you look at things. But sometimes it's really powerful to take a word that is translated into English and go back and look at what does that word actually mean? in the language that it's translated from.
how others view their words can sometimes be worldview shifters. I mean, major frame changers. Just by looking at what the words actually mean. So, let me give an example the word in English to be patient or patience is a word that often means waiting around tolerating something. letting time pass while you wade through that situation or endure it or suffer through it. And in fact, the Latin word _patientia_ is where the word comes from in English.
And it means to endure or suffer through. Now, it comes with an implication that a calm understanding, emerges over time so that you can actually deal with the thing. but still it implies waiting. It implies. Not sitting around, but it does imply waiting for the thing to pass. Waiting for time to pass.
And we have lots of sayings in our language that, "time heals, all wounds" and things like that. But what's really interesting is if you take a look at the word, patience in English and look at the word. That is, it's equivalent in Arabic. Which is _sabr_. When you look up this word. It's often translated as patience. But when that is not the understanding that people who speak that language have of the word. The word _sabr_. Translated as patience does not mean to sit around and wait.
It doesn't mean to be passive. In that language and the Arabic language patience isn't passive at all. In fact, the word means, "to act in the right time. Not too early. Not too late." To act. In the right time. It's not to endure through something over time. It's to act in the right time. It's to take action. Now, this is really intriguing to me because I don't think of enduring through something, waiting through something, going through a challenge as something that is always active.
So when you look at the word _sabr_ to act in the right time, not too early, not too late, sometimes that does mean enduring through something until the right time emerges. To do what though? To do what? There's an action on the other end. And when do you do that action? There's a timing to it. There's a, so there's a, there's a, what?
There's a, when there's a, how. And, and all of this in this word _sabr_. To act in the right time. Not too early, not too late. It implies a certain amount of anticipation. What is the best action? What is the best time? What is the best manner of acting?
sometimes that acting might be on yourself. It might be calming yourself, managing your state because your state affects your words. If you're not patient, if you don't have _sabr_, then you, your words may come out too quickly, may come out too harshly. you may say something you don't mean, you may say something you feel in that moment, but it's so hurtful to someone else that it could actually lead to, far worse outcomes.
So sometimes it's managing your state, just working on yourself. How do you calm yourself? How do you work on some personal resilience? Some of those things that might be the case. Other times it might be skill-building. Maybe during that time while you're waiting for the right time to act acting in the right time. Not too early, not too late. One of the actions you might take early is to build a skill. You know what? I have to have this difficult conversation. I'm going to learn about difficult conversations. I'm going to learn about having high stakes conversations.
I'm going to learn about the best way to do this, the best way to approach this person or this situation. I'm going to learn about it before I do it. so that I am prepared when the time comes to act. if you've ever heard any of the quotes from Nelson Mandela, about his time in prison, one person asked him about, all that time wasted in prison.
And he said, I didn't waste. I prepared. I prepared. So, how are you preparing to act in the right time? Maybe the time to act is not right now, but are you anticipating when that time is? Patience is not passive. It is active. So what are you doing? Are you seeking advice? Are you seeking wise counsel?
Are you asking others for input? Are you looking stuff up, learning about it or are you doom scrolling? Are you just having negative conversations with yourself as you toss and turn in bed? No patience isn't passive. It's active. So what are you doing?
[ ***** Quickly learn the most impactful lessons and skills from the best books on influence and communication. Learn more about the community here: InfluenceBookClub.com ***** ]
Now sometimes it might be taking the next step, like being patient as you build your career, for example. Acting in the right time. What is next? Are you sending out your resumes?
Are you building the skills? Are you getting that certificate? Are you applying to those schools? Are you Seeking projects that help you advance your career in some way? These are actions. So patience isn't about sitting around and waiting and waiting for things to happen to you. sometimes it's reaching out to others and sometimes it's addressing the thing head on. And so whatever it is for you, part of that acting. Is anticipation.
And part of that acting is skill building. So, you learn about communication before you have to communicate that hard thing. Listen to podcasts like this one or others about influence and about communication and about difficult conversations. join the influence book club where, we go over books that help you build the skills and we in it as a community, build that skill. You know, Do these things get a coach.
If you need coaching on a particular skill, as you're building your career, as you're preparing for that hard discussion, as you're preparing for a talk. whatever the thing is, patience is not passive. This is an active process. And part of that action is working on yourself. Part of that action is reaching out to others.
Part of that action is anticipating and preparing for the time to act. So all of this to say, sometimes we can learn from others languages and it can completely shift our worldview. And I feel that's the case with this word, _sabr_. I will never look at the word patience the same way. Again, it's not about waiting and enduring and passively sitting around.
It is about acting in the right time. So I hope you found this helpful. Get to work.
-----------
This is only the end of today's show if you let it be. Who needs to hear what you just heard? Go ahead and share it with them right now. The Influence Every Day podcast is free. We don't sell advertising space, so telling others is the best way to pay us back. But more importantly, it's the best way to pay it forward. If you enjoy today's podcast, take a moment to rate and review the show. Then check out the additional links and materials that go along with it. They offer more ways to take your influence, your impact, and your relationships to a whole new level. Now go forth and influence for good. Every day.
[ ***** PS - Guess what?! Dr. Tori already distilled all of the best books on influence and communication for you. Learn more here: InfluenceBookClub.com ***** ]
